My Nescafe mate, and my roommate

(Attention: For members of Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, definitely don't read Act II. It contains scenes of violence. For general junta, read on. For sadistic junta, read onner. For fans of Joey from friends, read onnest.)

Epilogue: This post is about two guys I knew in IIT Delhi, one with whom were spent the most carefree years of my life, whiling away time in Nescafe at 4 in the night, and the other with whom I shared a room in my job year, in GK-1. Two different persons, who had much in common. The former was from a village in Rajasthan, while the latter from Haryana. Both managed to keep all of us in toes laughing with their gags, most of which were intentional, and plain stupid. But the most amazing thing is, that they managed to repeat these acts of stupidity through their four years in IITD and beyond. The resemblance between them was uncanny, and many a lesser mortal have got confused between the two. For want of better names, lets call them Ravinder and Pradeep respectively. But in spite of it all, there is a big difference between the two: Pradeep has an affinity for chappals, which he gets pretty often, all over his body, while Ravinder is generally likable, and apart from his antics, very intelligent. Pradeep is, according to the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, universally tied with a certain Mohit (a post dedicated to him will be out soon) as the most beaten up forms of life, dead or living, ever. But more of it later. For right now, the batsman coming into bat is Ravinder. (I was enamored by Ireland and Bangladesh wins yesterday).

ACT I SCENE I
Scene Setting: Ravinder is standing with a bunch of friends outside the coffee shop. Far away walks Amreen Sodhi, a junior in IITD and a decent friend, wearing salwar kameez.
Ravinder(looking at Amreen): Woh dekho, that girl looks a lot like Amreen.
Everyone starts laughing.
Ravinder( a bit nonplussed): Look carefully. If she was wearing jeans, like Amreen normally does, she would look a lot like Amreen.
The laughs increase in intensity.
Ravinder (out of his wits): Maybe I was wrong. Maybe she does not look like Amreen.

ACT I SCENE II
Scene Setting: Ravinder is returning back from Nescafe with all of us, at around five in the morning. We are talking about Laloo Prasad Yadav, his eleven children, and Rabri Devi. Someone mentions Sadhu Yadav.
Someone2: Who is Sadhu Yadav?
Someone3: Sadhu Yadav Laloo ka Saala hai. (Sadhu Yadav is Laloo's brother-in-law).
Ravinder: wah wah wah wah. What a name. Laloo Kasala. Wah wah. It is such a great name. (And he goes into a giggle loop. We still havent figured out why!)

ACT I SCENE III (Censored: Adults and Boys only).
Scene Setting: Ravinder comes back from the institute to the hostel.
Ravinder: I was walking on the road outside the bank when I saw this girl whose zip was open.
Someone: What did you do?
Ravinder: Nothing, actually! But I remembered how people open and close their fist to signal "lights on during the daytime" to motorists and I now think I should have done that. It would have let her know that her zip was open!!

ACT I SCENE IV
Scene Setting: Ravinder is trying on the helmet. He picks up the helmet and puts it on with the front face backwards. So, obviously all he can see is total blackness.
Ravinder: How do people drive with this thing on? I cant see a thing. #$%@%$@

ACT I SCENE V
Scene Setting: Outside Nescafe.
Someone: See. she is the girl I have a crush on.
Ravinder: No this is not the girl you have a crush on. That (pointing in the other direction) is the girl you have a crush on.
Someone: No, that is the girl I have a crush on. I have shown her so many times, can't you still recognize?
Ravinder: How can I recognize them? ALL GIRLS LOOK THE SAME IN JEANS.

And there are so many more. But now, lets take a break and look at the other protagonist of the story, Pradeep.

ACT II SCENE I
Scene Setting: Inside a train in Itarsi platform. The carriage saw a sudden influx of eunuchs in the bogey, which was all booked by students of the Electrical Engineering Department. An eunuch came into the compartment, and said "Paise nikaal jaldee be, nahin to kholke dikhaoon kyaa? (Take out the money, or do you want me to show you whats inside?) and she(he??) threatened to pull out whatever she(he??) was wearing. Which actually scared the blues out of one of the inmates, and gave the tenner to help her(him??) on the way. Everyone was happy with the escape, except for Pradeep.
Pradeep : Why did you have to give it the tenner so soon? I wanted to see what was inside. And out came our chappals, and Pradeep became the victim once again.
Later another eunuch passed by.
Pradeep: She was smart, by the way. And out came our chappals, again.
Later on, in IITD, when quizzed about why he had said it,
Pradeep : You know there was the dialogue in Chameli, (a Bollywood movie which had released around the same time), Koi kaisa bhee ho, bas pyaar honaa chahiye. (However the other person is, all that matters is that you love). And out came....

ACT II SCENE II
Scene Setting: Cricket match outside Karakoram hostel. The ball comes near the fielder Pradeep, who makes no effort to stop it, but lets it go, and the ball goes past the boundary. All fielders ask, why?
Pradeep: I thought the ball will stop itself, and then I will go and get it. Even the batting side players joined the fielders in taking out their chappals on this one.

ACT II SCENE III
Someone was teaching Pradeep how to ride a bike. A red light approached, and he told our hero to wait for the red light to turn green. Someone was on the pillion seat.
Suddenly we see our hero starting the bike and going through, while the light ahead of us is still red. Someone asks him to stop, and what did he think he was doing?
Pradeep: See, that (Pointing to the green light on the perpendicular road) light has turned green!!! So we can move.
And when we heard it, we all took out..

There are so many more, but I am tired of writing, and I hope you get the picture.

It was an awesome time, and it felt good being there.

Thanks guys.